Non-violent Communication skills that I have been introduced to thru Scott Swain are helping me transform my business from a resentful, high-turnover office to one where people are having fun and working together on projects. It has given us a way to talk to each other that helps to keep people from becoming defensive and resentful.
In using it with my boyfriend I am finding I have more patience with our different communication styles even though I still want to lop his head off every once in awhile (he has not been practicing the non-violent way of communication). I find myself thinking about conversations before I have them or react to them, which gives me greater peace of mind.
It was interesting to me that after I had been introduced to Non-violent Communication thru Scott, I found out that some of my friends that I most enjoy having conversations with were also students of Non-violent Communication in other cities. Small world among the consciously speaking! I am far from being able to apply it in every situation but the more I practice the better my relationships and the more type of relationships I get to have.
Learning about Non-Violent Communication from Scott has helped me become more aware of how I speak and interact with others. As a teacher, the students and I have benefited from using this approach to communication. When students come to me with a problem, I try to incorporate NVC by listening empathically, identifying feelings, and determining needs. As a result, students feel respected and valued, and you can almost see the tension dissipate. Encouraging students to use NVC when having conflicts has allowed us to settle differences calmly and peacefully, without blame. NVC is a technique that helps us listen to each other in a way that many people wish to be heard.
When I first met Scott, I was inspired by theway he communicated with and interacted with everyone around him, and mypersonal interactions with him conveyed a depth of understanding and connectionI'd found only rarely in my life up to that point. Learning NVC with Scott(I've been in three of his work groups already) has given me the ability tointeract with others in a more genuine and open way, and it's added greaterconnection and beauty to even the simplest interactions in my life.
I can't recommend working with Scott highly enough. His comprehension of NVCand his ability to impart this knowledge and understanding through both hiseveryday actions and the way he guides his work groups are simply incredible.Scott doesn't just teach NVC; he lives it.
When I arrived at the first meeting, I immediately felt connected to the open, safe space he provided at his place. I really enjoyed practicing NVC with a group of like-minded folks, who most now are my friends! The way Scott taught NVC (having previous experience with it) was simple, direct, fun, and applicable. We focused consistently on practice in 1 on 1 or group setting so that now NVC is a part of me. Observe what's happening, connect your feelings or another's to what is going on, express your needs or facilitate others doing so, and create a positive request for a new way! Scott is a wonderful guy, the workshop is fun and helpful, and you'll use NVC wherever you go!
Thanks for helping me with "NVC goggles". I am seeing the world more clearly thru lenses of empathy and compassion. It's so great to start liberating yourself and the way you view others from the moral judge and persecutor.
I have known all these practices in bits and pieces I have collected over years of therapy meditation and self awareness. But to have it in one comprehensive plan is making it possible to apply.
I feel like for the first time ever....when I see someone "angry" I don't feel like I need to protect myself from that anger or tell the person to "not be angry". I can see the complete despair that is beneath anger.
I have seen Anon Name #1 in a totally different light after the years I labelled him as "abusive". How limiting that was for both of us!
I saw Anon Name #2 yesterday and was able to turn some anger that was coming out toward me into a recognition of how much pain was there in him. I told him I realized I hadn't listened to him properly for years. I reached him. He heard me. His whole body softened. His clenched fist released as I held his hand. We understood each other. That moment moved a mountain.
What a gift. Thank you.
When I was initiated and learned my first lesson of tantra meditation, I took an oath of non violence. NVC resonated with me immediately like my spiritual path did. The core of my path/practice is: self awareness, universal benevolence, and non violence. To now have a practice that is separate from spirituality (read: the dogma that sometimes exists in spirituality) but also is in line with that practice - Magnifique!
For me NVC with Scott was an amazing breakthrough in communication as well as an eye opening view of the unconditional love Scott has for so many. I found myself surrounded by peers and strangers alike, all ready to live and learn from the obvious skills Scott portrays on a regular basis. As a true mentor I find myself looking to him for guidance and friendship, all and all I find him to be one of the most selfless people I know and a highly skilled communicator. Thanks Scotter for providing a place for me to learn how to both Talk and Listen!
When I first heard about NVC, I was skeptical, however coming from a relationship where the communication was destructive, I decided to give it a shot. During the sessions, I learned a lot through others, and I also learned that although my intentions were good, the way I went about communicating was not constructive. I learned to be honest with my feelings and how to express those. From a person who can be quite blunt, it really helped me face a mirror and understand that there was a disconnect between what I felt and what I said. It was an incredibly valuable experience that has equipped me with the tools to have the healthy relationship and communication I have with my partner. I highly recommend NVC!
I participated in Scotter's NVC class last year (January-March 2010) and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in communicating with anyone else. Much of the information was intuitive to me, but I still got a lot out of fine tuning my awareness during communication. I also really enjoyed being a part of a community of people who are in different places in developing their communication abilities and experiencing the warmth and comfort to know there are a lot of people interested in improving and bettering how they relate with the world and themselves! Thanks for bringing us together Scotter!
You're one of the biggest proponents of open, honest communication that I know. And an amazingly respectful person, in every way that I've seen. And experienced in multiple types of relationships. And a genuinely good guy. :)
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