Are you feeling ______ because your need for ________ is not being met?
An excellent way to phrase requests:
Would you be willing to... ?
They took our request as a demand:
Could you tell me how I could have let you know what I was requesting so it wouldn't sound like I was telling you what you had to do?
We asked for something and they say yes but we don't trust their answer:
I'm hearing you say yes and I want to trust your answer. I'd really like you to take a moment and tell me whether it would meet your needs to do as I requested.