Chain Reaction w Relationships

Joined with mother.
Boundaries indistinct.
Joined with all.

Discovery of our boundaries / separate-ness.
Discovery of “self” and “other”.
Fear, pain, and death all bio-hardwired together for survival.

Learning to categorize / organize / compare / judge; this is “right” & that is “wrong”. Judging others helps us expand & strengthen our boundaries.
We are taught “responsibility” means to plan.
Decrease in “response-ability” (the ability to be in- and act upon- the moment).
Taught to enjoy accumulation of values and valuables and to associate this accumulation with security.

Wanting peace. love, & security.
But feeling fear & loneliness.
Fearing rejection & loss of what we “have”.
Planning in order to protect what we “have” and to get more (expanding our boundaries). If we get “more” we have more to fear losing. If we don’t, we judge ourselves "failures”. Either way, we still want more.

Death / Transformation
Boundaries indistinct.
Joined with all.

Assumptions & Definitions

By "boundaries" I mean: ego, sense of self, “separateness”, sphere of influence, filters, and how closed we are to change/ influence from outside ideas/other bodies. When we are in the womb we have indistinct/unformed boundaries. And, in a purely physiological sense, our bodies being integrated with our mothers, our physical boundaries are indistinct compared to post birth disconnection from the womb's support system.

“Joined With All”
Before a baby develops boundaries past the "womb" phase, a lack of distinct separateness means we are "tied in" to the group all-ness. What is "group all-ness"? Theory (not new; similar to theories proposed by many quantum physicists, hinduists, etc.): while each of us is an individual, we are also part of a greater whole. That “greater whole” has been called many things, including "god", "energy", and “group consciousness". Quantum physicists have been talking since the 1930's about how every particle that makes up everyone/everything is simultaneously in all things (This is a gross simplification. See probability theory and wave/ particle theory). At some point in our development, part of our "boundary development" is filter development; one of these filters having the purpose of assisting us in distinguishing ourselves from others so that we can survive.

Fear is an integral part of our humanity. Fear is a survival tool. We are in control of how we react to our fear. We also have quite a bit of control over what we fear. We can dig deep into the roots of our fears and decide what is a true danger to our happiness and what is not. Letting go of fear can mean learning trust and confidence. It can be done. We can reprogram ourselves and our value systems. We need to reorganize and ask ourselves, ”What exactly do I really need? What can I let go of so that I no longer fear losing it?” (Yoda mentioned something along these lines in Star Wars Episode 3) This is a path to a liberation. What do you fear losing most?

Our culture/training/media encourages
reinforcement and expansion of our
boundaries; creating the illusion of safety / security. Buy more land! Buy a bigger house! Have more stuff!

It is the same with time! Since birth we are taught in many ways to “look ahead”. Our biological programming supports this looking ahead in time as a survival method. For example, gathering extra food to save for the Winter months.

But we can get caught up in a vicious
circle of looking into the future (planning) more than we need to, which separates us further from being in the moment and from peace.

It's easiest to recognize this planning as you drive your car thinking about your destination and what you will do when you get there. How often do you realize this is happening and refocus on the moment?

We have been taught the finite ways of
loving: a person can love one father, many sisters, many brothers, one mother, one mate, and only a mate of the opposite sex. Love has no room for other configurations! This limitation is reinforced by our parents, our friends, our teachers, and the media.

We are taught that love is a finite
commodity. These limitations are reinforced throughout our entire lives!

What if it is possible to let go of the fear that limits us from connecting with others in a way that increases our enjoyment of life?

What if we can become comfortable with feeling/showing all the affection we want?

Does it begin with smiling at a "stranger”? Does it begin with a dance?

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