Published 2025-09-08 10-04

Summary

Most leaders think they’re empathetic, but 92% of CEOs vs 72% of employees disagree. The gap costs you engagement and trust. The missing piece? Cognitive empathy.

The story

Most leaders think they’re empathetic. The data tells a different story.

92% of CEOs believe their organization is empathetic, but only 72% of employees agree. That gap? It’s costing you engagement, performance, and trust.

I’ve spent decades studying this disconnect, and here’s what I’ve learned: the missing piece isn’t emotional empathy – it’s cognitive empathy.

Cognitive empathy lets you understand someone’s emotions without getting your own feelings tangled up in theirs. It’s the difference between reacting and responding strategically.

Take Bob, frustrated because his team can’t align. His coach Jane doesn’t offer solutions. Instead, she guesses his feeling [overwhelmed] and his need [unity]. When Bob complains about “fragile egos,” she reframes it – he values their growth. Suddenly, Bob finds his own path forward.

Or Emily, struggling with new software and feeling incompetent. Her leader David uses cognitive empathy to connect with her emotional state and underlying needs. What could’ve been demoralizing becomes trust-building.

This isn’t touchy-feely leadership – it’s practical. Research shows 58% of job success comes from emotional intelligence, not IQ. Companies using empathetic leadership see higher engagement and lower turnover.

The framework I teach in Chapter 20 of “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind” gives leaders concrete tools to bridge this empathy gap. Not performative empathy, but authentic understanding that drives real results.

Because here’s the truth: leadership is a contact sport. Cognitive empathy isn’t just nice to have – it’s your competitive advantage.

For more from Chapter 20 of my “A Practical EmPath Rewire Your Mind” book, visit
https://clearsay.net/talk-on-chapter-20-leadership.

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Keywords: LeadershipSkills, cognitive empathy, leadership gap, employee engagement