Workplace conflict isn’t about communication—it’s about responsibility. When someone criticizes your work, who owns your reaction? PEP offers a framework to respond without blame, manipulation, or emotional meltdowns.
The story
Workplace conflict usually isn’t a “communication problem.” It’s a *responsibility leak*.
Someone says, “That report was sloppy,” and our brain ships a push notification: *You made me feel attacked.* Then we clap back, go silent, or write a 900-word email nobody asked for. Sure, because emotional constipation is a proven strategy for team health.
Here’s the refactor: Practical Empathy Practice [PEP]. I’ve been studying, teaching, and writing about empathy for 20 years, and in Chapter 3 of my book, _A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind_ [Amazon], I break down the core principles and the big no-nos for using empathy in professional settings without turning it into weird therapy theater.
The PEP core [OFNR]:
– Observation without evaluation: “You raised your voice in the meeting,” not “You were rude.”
– Guess feelings + values: “Are you frustrated because collaboration matters to you?”
– Positive, doable requests: “Would you join me for coffee to brainstorm options?” Refusal is allowed. That’s how trust gets compiled.
The no-nos:
– Blame language, “You always…”
– Jumping into fixer mode
– Preaching jargon instead of modeling calm
– Manipulation wearing an empathy costume
In PEP, nobody “makes” you feel anything. They can stimulate; you still own your processing. That’s emotional responsibility, and leaders who practice it reduce conflict and boost psychological safety.
If you want the exercises, especially reworking past conflicts with OFNR, grab Chapter 3 of _A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind_ on Amazon. If you want to see it in action, EmpathyBot.net demonstrates what this sounds like when it’s done well.
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