Discover how shifting from “who’s right” to understanding transforms conflicts. When we observe without judging, even long-standing disputes can resolve in minutes.
The story
I’ve been mediating conflicts since 2015, and I’ve noticed something fascinating: when people feel truly heard, magical things happen.
Here’s the problem though – most conflict resolution approaches focus on determining who’s right rather than creating understanding. This typically leads to reluctant compromises or worse, escalation.
That’s why I developed Practical Empathy Practice [PEP] – a framework that transforms mediation by focusing on understanding before resolution.
The key lies in observation without evaluation. Instead of saying “you always leave your dirty socks on the floor” [which triggers defensiveness], you say “I see socks on the floor.” This simple shift removes judgment and creates space for connection.
I’ve seen this work across countless scenarios – from domestic disputes to political disagreements. The framework stays consistent:
1. Observe without evaluating
2. Recognize feelings
3. Identify values and needs
4. Make actionable requests
What makes this different is that it doesn’t rely on compromise based on power dynamics. Instead, it builds mutual respect and understanding.
The results? I’ve watched anger transform into peace. I’ve seen decades-long conflicts resolved in minutes.
If you want to level up your own mediation skills, I dive deep into this approach in Chapter 10 of my book, “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind.” I’ve made it affordable on Amazon because I believe these tools should be available to everyone.
In a world filled with conflict, practical empathy might be our most valuable skill.
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