Discover how to transform anger from relationship destroyer to connection builder with a practical approach that separates facts from stories and creates space for understanding.
The story
Ever notice how anger takes you on a ride you didn’t sign up for? I’ve spent years studying what happens between trigger and reaction – and there’s a better way.
In my research for “A Practical EmPath,” I discovered something surprising: anger isn’t the enemy. It’s actually a doorway to deeper connection when we approach it with Practical Empathy Practice [PEP].
Here’s what makes PEP different:
1. It starts with facts. Instead of “You never help,” try “The dishes are still in the sink.” This small shift bypasses judgment that fuels conflict.
2. It creates clarity. When I name my actual feelings rather than hiding them in accusations, both people can see what’s really happening.
3. It allows understanding without agreement. I can acknowledge your disappointment without agreeing I was wrong.
Consider this: when someone snaps, “You ate the last cake—you’re so inconsiderate!” responding with “You saw it was gone and felt disappointed because you value thoughtfulness?” transforms the interaction.
This works everywhere—from relationships to workplace tensions—because it honors both people’s truths.
The real power is separating what actually happened from the stories we tell ourselves about it. This creates space for peace instead of escalation.
Want to transform your anger into opportunities for connection? Chapter 8 of my book breaks down the entire process with real conversations and practical guidance.
Recent Comments