A veteran negotiator reveals how shifting from data-driven pitches to understanding others’ motivations transformed their success. Learn the practical secrets of cognitive empathy in deals.
The story
I’ve been negotiating deals for decades, and let me tell you – I used to be that person who walked into meetings armed with data and bullet points, thinking I was ready. But time after time, I’d hit unexpected roadblocks. The other side just wouldn’t budge, no matter how solid my logic was.
That all changed when I discovered the power of cognitive empathy.
Here’s what I learned: great negotiators don’t just focus on their own goals. They take time to truly understand what matters to the other person. Not just surface-level stuff, but the real pressures and priorities driving their decisions.
I remember one tough negotiation where everything changed the moment I stopped pushing my agenda and simply asked, “What keeps you up at night about this deal?” The conversation completely shifted. They opened up, and suddenly we were solving problems together instead of fighting over positions.
This isn’t just feel-good stuff – it’s strategic. When people feel genuinely understood, they’re more willing to find middle ground. And when you can read the room better, you make smarter choices about your approach.
I break down exactly how to develop this skill in Chapter 19 of my book, “A Practical Empath: Rewire Your Mind.” I’ll show you how to spot hidden motivations, use active listening as a tactical tool, and handle even the most difficult negotiations with confidence.
Want to transform your negotiation skills? Stop focusing solely on your pitch. Start understanding the person across the table. Trust me – it works.
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