After 30+ years of conflict resolution, I’ve learned people are fundamentally good. When they feel heard, their natural compassion emerges. I’ve seen enemies become allies.
The story
After years of mediating conflicts and running empathy practice groups, I keep coming back to this simple truth: people are fundamentally good.
I’ve watched strangers help each other during emergencies without thinking twice. I’ve seen bitter enemies find common ground when they finally understand each other’s needs. In my conflict resolution work since 1990, the pattern is crystal clear – when people feel heard, their natural compassion emerges.
The research backs this up too. Studies show humans have an innate tendency toward cooperation and fairness. We’re literally wired for connection through mirror neurons that help us understand others’ experiences.
What fascinates me most is how quickly people transform when they learn cognitive empathy skills. I call it “street empathy” – practical tools that let you see past someone’s defensive behavior to their underlying needs. Once you get there, something beautiful happens. The urge to help, to connect, to do good becomes almost automatic.
Sure, we make mistakes. We get triggered. We act selfishly sometimes. But underneath all that protective armor, there’s this incredible capacity for kindness waiting to be activated.
I’ve built my entire practice around this belief – that empathy can be learned and that most conflicts dissolve when people truly understand each other. The results speak for themselves.
In a world that often feels divided, remembering our fundamental goodness isn’t just nice – it’s necessary. When we approach others with curiosity instead of judgment, we create space for their best selves to show up.
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