Forced gratitude feels fake because you’re doing it backward. Real gratitude grows naturally when you practice empathy first – understanding your feelings without judgment, then extending that kindness to others.
The story
Ever notice how forced gratitude feels fake? Like when someone tells you to “just be grateful” and it makes you want to roll your eyes?
I used to think I was bad at gratitude. Turns out I was just doing it backward.
Here’s what I discovered: gratitude isn’t something you force. It’s what happens naturally when you practice real empathy first.
Think about it. When you truly understand your own feelings – without judging them – something shifts. You stop being so hard on yourself. Then when you extend that same understanding to others, you start seeing things differently.
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, you notice what’s actually here. Instead of seeing problems everywhere, you spot the good stuff too.
I call this the empathy-gratitude connection, and it’s what I dive into in Chapter 9 of my book “A Practical EmPath.”
Try this today: Before pushing yourself to feel grateful, just pause and really listen to what you’re feeling. No judgment. Just understanding.
Then extend that same kindness to someone else – maybe the person who made your coffee or held the door.
Watch what happens. When gratitude grows from genuine empathy, it feels real. It sticks. And it changes how you see everything.
The cool part? Even during tough times, this approach helps you find light by focusing on what you actually need rather than forcing fake positivity.
Real gratitude starts with real empathy. Try it and see what shifts for you.
Recent Comments