When your team seems “resistant,” they’re protecting something. Get curious about what they value. Shift “you made me feel” to “I feel this because I value that.” Changes everything.
The story
Patterns making it sound AI-written:
– Repetitive contrast structure: “Before / After” with mirrored phrasing feels templated.
– Clean, slogan-like lines: “No more X. No more Y.” reads like copywriting, not a person thinking out loud.
– Generic emotional language: “tension,” “resistant,” “connection” without concrete moments or dialogue.
– Over-explained insight: states the lesson directly instead of letting the reader infer it.
– Smooth, frictionless transitions: everything flows a little too perfectly.
– Light hedging and soft claims: “probably,” “trying to help,” “finding this useful.”
– Promotional shift is abrupt and polished, like a script.
Rewritten version:
“Why won’t my team *listen*?”
You repeat yourself. It lands wrong. One person goes quiet, another gears up to argue, and you leave the meeting cast as the “bad guy.” Fun.
Now picture a small pause. You notice the tight shoulders, the short replies. Instead of grading their behavior, you get curious about what they’re *feeling* and what they’re trying to protect.
Turns out your team isn’t “resistant.” They’re protecting something they care about. When you speak to *that*, the conversation changes. You’re not talking at them anymore. You’re in it with them.
The part most training skips: feelings don’t come from other people. Something happens, sure, but I’m the one generating the feeling based on what I value. Shift “you made me feel” to “I’m feeling this because I value that,” and your whole approach updates.
Blame drops. Guilt disguised as feedback drops. Unsolicited advice… yeah, that tends to drop too.
What shows up instead? Curiosity. Clear asks. Conversations that don’t feel like a courtroom.
Soft? Only if connection is optional. It isn’t.
You’ll be clumsy at first. I still am, and I wrote the book. If you want more reps, Chapter 3 of “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind” walks through how to
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