I used to think manipulation was just for toxic people. Wrong. Every leader, manager, and parent manipulates. The real question: are you aware of it? Most aren’t.
The story
I used to think manipulation was something only toxic people did. Boy, was I wrong.
Here’s what I discovered while writing Chapter 22 of “A Practical EmPath”: every leader manipulates. Every manager. Every parent. The question isn’t whether you manipulate – it’s whether you’re aware of it.
Most business leaders are accidentally manipulative. They think they’re being persuasive, but they’re actually using emotional pressure without realizing it. The result? Teams that comply but don’t commit. Employees who say yes but mentally check out.
The problem is we confuse manipulation with influence. Real influence respects the other person’s autonomy. Manipulation bypasses it.
I spent years studying cognitive empathy, and here’s the truth: empathetic people can be the most manipulative. We read people well. We know which emotional buttons to push. The temptation to use that skill for shortcuts is huge.
But there’s a better way.
Chapter 22 breaks down the difference between ethical influence and manipulation. It shows you how to spot when you’re crossing the line – and how to course-correct. More importantly, it teaches you to harness your empathetic abilities to create genuine buy-in instead of forced compliance.
The leaders who master this distinction build teams that actually want to follow them. Not because they have to, but because they genuinely believe in the direction.
Your empathy is a superpower. Chapter 22 shows you how to use it without becoming the villain in someone else’s story.
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