Humans aren’t broken—they’re scared. When we feel safe, we cooperate. When we don’t, we look selfish or mean. That reframe changes everything about how you respond.
The story
Hot take: humans are naturally good.
Not “perfect angel” good. More like “baby giraffe on roller skates trying *really hard* not to crash into the furniture” good.
Clinical version:
Given safety and belonging, humans reliably move toward cooperation, care, and creativity.
Street version:
When we’re not terrified or shamed, we actually like being kind.
I’ve spent 20 years studying, teaching, and writing about empathy, plus 30+ years coding [8 of those pioneering AI like EmpathyBot.net]. The pattern is boringly consistent:
When people feel:
– Unsafe → they look “selfish”
– Unseen → they look “cold”
– Unloved → they look “mean”
Underneath those behaviors?
The same core needs we all share: safety, dignity, connection, meaning.
So instead of:
– “What’s wrong with them?”
Try:
– “What pain or need might be driving this?”
That tiny reframe is not just “nice.” It’s power.
You get options besides fight, freeze, or hate-scroll.
If you want practical, step-by-step ways to train your brain to see that goodness [in you and in other messy humans], that’s exactly why I wrote *A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind*.
Because once you assume people are *trying* to meet needs, not *trying* to be awful…
your whole world gets a lot less hopeless and a lot more workable.
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