You know that moment when someone’s upset and you want to help, but you end up making it worse? Turns out empathy isn’t about feeling what others feel – it’s about understanding their situation. Here’s the practical approach that actually works.
The story
You know that moment when someone’s upset and you want to help, but you end up making it worse? Yeah, me too.
I used to think empathy was this mystical gift some people had and others didn’t. Turns out, I was totally wrong.
In Chapter 4 of my book, I break down what I call “practical empathy” – empathy that actually works in real life. Not the fluffy stuff we hear about, but the nuts-and-bolts approach that helps you connect with people without losing yourself.
Here’s the thing: empathy isn’t about feeling what others feel. That’s exhausting and usually unhelpful. It’s about understanding what it’s like to be them in their situation. Big difference.
I call the everyday version “street empathy” – those moments when strangers naturally help each other without overthinking it. We’re already wired for this stuff.
The secret? Get curious instead of making assumptions. When someone’s talking, try reflecting back what you think they’re feeling. “Sounds like you’re frustrated about…” Then stay open to being completely wrong.
Most of our communication problems come from assuming we know what’s going on in someone else’s head. Plot twist: we usually don’t.
What I love about practical empathy is it doesn’t require you to be perfect or have special training. You just need to slow down, tune in, and be willing to check your guesses.
In this doom-scrolling world, maybe that’s our path back to actual human connection.
The best part? It gets easier with practice, and your relationships get stronger along the way.
Recent Comments