Stop pretending to be a good communicator – it backfires every time. Real connection comes from understanding others while staying authentic, not copying what you think works.
The story
Here’s the thing about trying to connect with people – we get stuck thinking being natural means putting on some kind of show.
I see it constantly. Someone wants better relationships, so they start copying what they think “good communicators” do. They use words that don’t sound like them. They nod at all the “right” moments. They basically become actors.
And it fails every time.
People spot fake instantly. Worse, when you’re performing, you lose touch with your actual thoughts and feelings. You disconnect from yourself while trying to connect with others.
The real solution isn’t better acting. It’s developing cognitive empathy – understanding someone else’s view while staying true to yourself.
When you get why someone thinks what they think, you don’t need to pretend to agree. You can respond genuinely because you actually understand where they’re coming from. That’s when conversations flow.
In Chapter 6 of “A Practical emPath,” I show exactly how this works. You’ll learn how cognitive empathy lets you stay completely yourself while creating real connection. No scripts, no fake energy, no pretending.
The methods I share help you communicate with natural ease that only comes from being authentic. When you’re not performing, you can actually listen. When you’re not worried about the “right” thing to say, you can say the real thing.
That’s when people actually want to keep talking to you.
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