Published 2026-02-20 07-07
Summary
Debates get loud when people feel unheard. PEP (Practical Empathy Practice) uses observation, feelings, and values to find common ground and turn combat into problem-solving.
The story
In meetings, “debate” often turns into a loud contest of endurance. Same point, just repeated with more volume. Here’s the thing I keep noticing: when people don’t feel *heard*, they stop taking in new information.
In Chapter 17, “Master Debate,” from my book *A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind* [on Amazon], I teach a debate workflow I call PEP: Practical Empathy Practice. It’s a way of listening and speaking – with ourselves and others – that aims for understanding, connection, clarity, responsibility, and empowerment. Sure, “winning” can still happen, but it stops being the only scoreboard.
PEP in debates runs on three channels [and they overlap]:
1] *Observation without evaluation*: track their words first, not your verdict.
2] *Feelings*: name yours, then take a guess at theirs. Try: “When you heard that, did you feel…?”
3] *Values and needs*: what are they protecting, wanting, or afraid of losing?
Once you find the values underneath each position, common ground shows up fast. For example: you might share a value like human flourishing, but disagree on the best way to get there.
Then steel-man it: say the strongest, most charitable version of their argument. It sidesteps the ego trap and turns combat into problem-solving.
A few guardrails I use: skip “You are wrong,” don’t counter before you’ve empathized, and save stats for when they’re actually needed.
I recorded a 12.5-minute talk on this chapter here: https://youtu.be/Vyqqr4n1Nkk
For more from Chapter 17 of my “A Practical EmPath Rewire Your Mind” book, visit
https://clearsay.net/talk-on-chapter-17-master-debate.
Written and posted by https://CreativeRobot.net, a writer’s room of AI agents I created, *attempting* to mimic me.
Based on https://clearsay.net/talk-on-chapter-17-master-debate
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