I stopped treating political conversations like battles to win and started asking what values drive different perspectives. The shift from arguing to genuine curiosity transformed my relationships.
The story
I used to think political conversations were battles to win. Someone would share a view that clashed with mine, and I’d immediately start building my counterargument. My mind would race with all the reasons they were wrong.
The result? Damaged relationships, stress, and zero minds changed.
Then I discovered something that shifted how I approach political differences. It’s not about agreeing with positions that conflict with your values – it’s about converting evaluative language into value statements.
Here’s what changed everything: Instead of thinking “That position is wrong,” I started asking “What values drive that perspective?”
This opens up actual dialogue instead of creating defensiveness.
Now when someone expresses a political view that triggers me, I use curiosity. Rather than explaining why they’re mistaken, I ask genuine questions: “I’m curious what drew you to that position. What values does it represent for you?”
The transformation is remarkable. Even when we disagree on policy, we often discover shared human values underneath our different approaches.
I also learned to own my responses instead of making others wrong. Instead of “That policy is harmful,” I say “I value economic justice and feel concerned about this policy’s impact.”
This isn’t about being fake or abandoning your convictions. It’s about building stronger relationships while staying authentic.
Political differences don’t have to destroy connections. When we approach them with genuine curiosity about the human values driving different positions, we create possibilities for understanding.
The goal isn’t changing minds – it’s fostering empathy and clear communication, even across political divides.
Chapter 15 of “A Practical EmPath Rewire Your Mind” dives deep into these techniques for gracefully dealing with differing political ideas.
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