Ever survived a family dinner hijacked by politics? I discovered a simple approach that transformed tense political standoffs into actual conversations – without anyone storming away from the table.
The story
I’ve been thinking about those family dinners where politics somehow sneaks in between the mashed potatoes and gravy.
Last Thanksgiving, my cousin started talking about a policy I strongly disagree with. My heart raced. My defenses rose. But instead of jumping in with counterpoints, I just… listened. Actually listened – not the kind where you’re mentally preparing your comeback.
“Tell me more about why you feel that way,” I said.
The room’s tension dropped instantly. My cousin’s shoulders relaxed. What followed wasn’t a heated debate but a real conversation.
This approach didn’t happen by accident. It came from practicing what I call cognitive empathy – seeing through another’s eyes without abandoning your own perspective.
When someone shares a political view different from mine, I try to separate their ideas from who they are as a person. Their stance on healthcare doesn’t define their entire being.
I’ve found genuine curiosity beats judgment every time. “What experiences shaped your thinking?” opens doors that “That’s ridiculous” slams shut.
In Chapter 15 of my book “A Practical EmPath,” I explore how political differences don’t have to end relationships. They can actually be spaces where our capacity for understanding grows the most.
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