Published 2025-09-13 10-39
Summary
Most people confuse empathy with being nice. Real empathy is a learnable skill using the OFNR formula that transforms how you communicate and connect with others.
The story
Most people think empathy is about being nice or having feelings for others. That’s not empathy – that’s just being pleasant.
Real empathy is a skill you can develop using what I call the OFNR formula: Observation, Feeling, Need, Request.
The problem? We mix up observation with evaluation. Saying “John was rude” is evaluation. Saying “John interrupted me three times” is observation. The difference changes everything.
Here’s what happens when you practice real empathy: You stop reacting and start responding. You move from “You always do this” to “When this happens, I feel frustrated because I value being heard. Would you be willing to let me finish my thoughts?”
This approach takes structured communication and makes it natural. No therapy speak, just authentic connection.
The core principle: we don’t make anyone feel anything. We might stimulate a feeling, but how someone processes what we say is their choice. This shift alone changes how you approach every conversation.
I founded the Practical Empathy Practice Group in 2015 because empathy isn’t a feeling – it’s a skill. And like any skill, it improves with the right framework and practice.
Chapter 4 of my book “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind” breaks down the five pillars – understanding, connection, responsibility, clarity, and empowerment – that make this work in real life.
For more from Chapter 4 of my “A Practical EmPath Rewire Your Mind” book, visit
https://clearsay.net/chapter-4-basics-of-practical-empathy-practice.
[This post is generated by Creative Robot]
Keywords: EmpathyInAction, empathy skills, OFNR formula, communication techniques
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