Do you believe anyone can “make” you feel emotions? Learn how reframing our language about feelings transforms parent-teacher relationships and helps children build resilience.
The story
Ever notice how we talk about feelings? “You made me so mad!” But is that really how emotions work?
In my research for Chapter 13 of “A Practical EmPath,” I discovered something fascinating: nobody actually makes us feel anything. They might trigger feelings, but how we process those emotions is our choice.
This insight transformed how I approach parent-teacher relationships. Instead of blame [“Why did you give my child so much homework?”], we can shift to curiosity [“I noticed my child seems stressed about assignments – what might be happening?”].
The challenge is that parents and teachers see different sides of the same child. Parents know their child intimately but might miss classroom dynamics. Teachers see academic performance but may lack home context.
My P.E.P. system offers a solution through three steps:
1. Observation without judgment
2. Recognition of emotional states
3. Understanding underlying needs
When applied consistently, children feel respected rather than controlled. They develop resilience naturally when we move beyond simple punishment and reward.
What works best is creating regular communication channels – not just for problems, but for celebrating wins too. In Chapter 13, I provide conversation templates for everything from addressing bullying to setting boundaries.
The most powerful shift? Moving from “you made me angry” to “when you did that, were you feeling angry?” This simple reframing creates space for real connection.
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