Tired of feeling like you’re “performing” conversations? I explore how our attempts at authenticity often make us more robotic, and share a simple practice that helped me find my real voice again.
The story
Ever get that feeling you’re “performing” conversations instead of just having them? I sure have.
While writing Chapter 6 of my book, I kept thinking about how we all slip into weird communication personas – especially when trying to be authentic.
The irony? The harder we try to “sound natural,” the more robotic we become.
That’s why I developed Practical Empathy Practice [PEP]. Not as another formula to memorize, but as training wheels to help you find your real voice.
The magic happens when you:
• State what actually happened [not your interpretation]
• Name your feelings [without blaming others]
• Identify what matters to you [values, not demands]
• Make clear requests [instead of hints]
My confession: I struggled with this too! In early workshops, I sounded like I was reading from a psychology textbook. Not exactly the connection I wanted.
The breakthrough came from my used car salesman days. I learned that strategic silence – just shutting up sometimes – creates space for real understanding.
True authenticity isn’t perfect phrasing. It’s genuinely wanting to understand yourself and others.
If you’re tired of feeling scripted in your own life, Chapter 6 of “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind” might help you find your voice again. The real one, hiding beneath all those “shoulds.”
What conversation are you dreading that might benefit from a more authentic approach?
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