I realized I wasn’t truly listening to my wife despite teaching others this skill for years. Our romantic relationships reveal our deepest patterns and can transform every area of our lives.
The story
Last night, my wife and I had this moment. Nothing extraordinary—just sitting together, talking about our day. But something shifted in how I listened to her.
For years I’ve been teaching people how to truly hear each other. Yet sometimes I forget to apply my own lessons at home.
When I wrote Chapter 11 of “A Practical EmPath,” I focused on romantic relationships because they’re where our deepest patterns show up. They become our greatest teachers.
What amazes me is how the quality of our love lives affects everything else. I’ve seen people in my Practical Empathy Practice Group transform their careers, friendships, and self-image by first improving their romantic connections.
The way we love shapes the way we live.
Cognitive empathy—truly understanding your partner’s perspective—isn’t just acknowledging feelings, but comprehending their entire worldview.
It’s not always easy. When only one partner practices empathy, it can create friction. Your attempts might initially seem inauthentic.
Research backs this up: people with higher empathy report better relationship satisfaction. Interestingly, women’s empathy relates to both their own perception of relationship quality and their partner’s.
The understanding, clarity, and connection you develop will enhance every interaction in your life.
The path starts with a single step toward greater understanding—of yourself and your partner.
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