Why do we keep having the same relationship problems? I discovered it’s not about finding the right words—we’re missing the core skill of cognitive empathy. Here’s how to change that.
The story
Ever notice how most relationship advice misses something crucial? After years studying communication and working with thousands of people, I found out why.
Most of us are trying to connect with outdated equipment.
In Chapter 1 of my book “A Practical emPath,” I break down what’s really happening when communication fails. It’s not about finding magic words – it’s about developing cognitive empathy: the ability to accurately understand others’ experiences.
This isn’t some mystical talent. It’s practical, learnable, and transforms relationships in surprising ways.
When you develop this skill, you stop:
• Second-guessing conversations
• Getting blindsided by reactions
• Repeating the same conflicts
• Walking on eggshells around certain people
Instead, you gain what I call “street empathy” – the real-world ability to connect genuinely while maintaining healthy boundaries.
What’s most interesting is how this creates clarity. Those confusing interactions that leave you wondering “what happened?” suddenly make sense. You start seeing the emotional currents driving behavior.
The first chapter explains why this approach works when others don’t. It’s not about scripts – it’s about rewiring how your mind processes social information.
This builds the foundation for relationships with more awareness, calm, connection, and freedom – what we’re actually seeking when we try to “communicate better.”
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