From forcing empathy to genuine connection: One person’s journey through the awkward stages of learning true emotional understanding, and how you can do it too.
The story
Before I learned how to truly practice empathy, I was that person trying to wing it. I read articles online, used phrases like “I totally understand,” but honestly? Half the time, I didn’t. And people could tell. My attempts fell flat—a close friend even told me I sounded like I was rehearsing for a therapy session. Ouch.
When I started exploring Practical Empathy Practice [PEP], things got awkward. My responses slowed down because I overthought every word. During one conversation with my spouse, I started with “So what I’m hearing is…” and they just stared at me like, “Who are you right now?” They appreciated the effort, but it wasn’t natural yet.
Here’s what I learned: empathy is like a muscle. It starts weak and clumsy, but grows stronger with practice. Once I stopped obsessing over “getting it right” and focused on understanding why people feel the way they feel, everything changed. Those awkward moments became genuine connections. My spouse stopped giving me strange looks and started thanking me for really listening.
I share these learning curves [and how to handle them] in Chapter 2 of “A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind.” The truth is, empathy isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, making mistakes, and trying again. If you’re struggling to connect or your attempts at kindness aren’t landing right, this chapter’s for you. The journey is worth it.
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